Archmage's Web Page
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Welcome to my Webpage! I am Archmage, alias Pieter Simoons in real
life. I am nineteen years old and come from
Rotterdam in the
I'm currently studying computer science at
Leiden University, after spending
a year as an exchange student at
Knox College, Illinois. I used to be a
member of the national service organization
Alpha Phi Omega, and
still would be if it had any branches in the Netherlands.
Check out this homepage for the Leiden Gaming Club
To learn something about my interests and hobbies, just scroll down and check
out the rest of the page. I hope you like what you find. If you have any
comments, ideas for new stuff to add, or just like to say hi, please
write me a note at
Shade and sweet water!
Here's a couple of extras for the biggest rpg - some new
Proficiencies. And there's a lot of new spells to
be found in the
NetBooks, but the ones on this link are in LaTeX format, so you may want
to try Morpheus (see below) instead.
a neat proficiency list [down], among other things.
Sadistic DMs will probably enjoy this
list of Traps.
If you want to play something new, you should try
FUDGE, a nice
freeform RPG system. Also you can check out
SpellCaster, a strategy game with wizards similar
to those in many RPGs.
For playing on the Internet, here is a long list of
Telnet Sites, including Muds, Mushes and Irc.
I used to be a well-known player on some mud, but that mud has since
degenerated and I never bothered getting to know another one. However, to
help out newbies I still have a list of
Items that appear to be common in muds (but don't
expect them everywhere).
For the light of heart, here's some jokes -
101 Spells Not Worth Memorizing, a treatise on
Gnomish Weaponry and the tome of
Real Men, Roleplayers, Loonies and Munchkins.
Finally, be sure to check out
(which is locked, by the way), the
Picture Archive and the
Magic: the Gathering
Magic, MtG for short, is the oldest and most popular of a loooong series of
trading card games. The idea of this is that every player has his own, unique
deck to play with, and that you can trade cards with others to get better
combinations, or just cards you like for whatever reason (such as the cool
picture most cards have).
If you trade a lot you'll be interested in
Bell's Price List. I have some related info on collecting coming up.
Of course, there's the usual humoristic section: a list of
Magic Jargon, the official guide to
People and Places of Dominia, the MtG version of
Real Men, Roleplayers, Loonies and Munchkins, and
some way cool strategies for the
If that's not enough for you, try these other sites:
Wizards of the Coast, and
Mox Pearl which has lots of
lists, rules and FAQs. WotC has shut down the Magic site at Itis.com...
(Wendy & Richard Pini)
This graphic novel has been translated in lots of
different languages; there's also some words in the
Elfin language. And, just for fun, here's a list
of what happens if you throw those Elfin names into a
There's a lot of ElfQuest pages on the web. The first you should look at is,
WaRP's Official Website,
(which is where the picture
comes from). You may also want to check out the
for more pictures.
A lot of ElfQuest sites have been closed down recently, including
and Milton. The
Characters is still there, luckily, and I've heard of a reasonably new
one at The Vault.
TON of other websites in case you have time to
check them out, but I can't guarantee any of them working.
Of course, Elfquest, its characters, situations, logos and their distinctive
likenesses are trademarks of and copyright 1996 by WaRP Graphics, Inc;
all rights reserved worldwide.
Great Science Fiction & Fantasy Authors
- Douglas Adams is the author of all five books of the famous
HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy. They're really funny, especially
the first one. I think the books can be found somewhere online, but I haven't
been able to find them yet. However, I do have the
HHGTG FAQ [down],
and a long
List of Fanpages for you to see.
- Richard Adams hasn't written too many books, but his Watership
Down is still one of my favourites. It's about a bunch of bunnies making
a long trip as their old den gets destroyed by humans. There's no webpages on
this though, as far as I know.
- Piers Anthony has written a lot of books in the Xanth series.
Xanth is a land of fantasy filled with night mares, lie berries, pining trees
and similar puns. While I haven't read much of his books, I do have some
- Isaac Asimov is really famous and well-known, both as a SF author
and a scientist. He wrote lots of books - here's a
List of them with Reviews; also, I have the
FAQ list available [down]. It's hard to describe his style - you'd just have to
read something; you'll find out, for one, that all his fiction books somehow
relate to each other. One of his best is Nemesis
- Michael Crighton is very good at writing thrillers; The
Andromeda Strain is a good example of this. Unfortunately, those guys at
Hollywood usually totally screw up when making films out of them. You can
check out his
here, but I refuse to put any film info on this page.
- Jim Henson is, of course, the creator of the
Muppets. Ok, so that's
not really fantasy, but it's good anyways. Maybe you want to read some of their
Also, he's written a few good films, most notably Labyrinth and
- Tanith Lee doesn't seem to be that well known,
at least not on the web; this is too bad because she's a good writer. I can
really recommend Kill the Dead and Black Unicorn.
- Millennium magazine has some nice
stories and some other stuff.
- Larry Niven is slightly more known. His most famous work is
RingWorld, although I must admit I found the ending disappointing.
Other than that, some great books are Inferno and The Magic Goes
- Terry Pratchett is really hilarious; he's the author of the
Discworld Series, a collection
of fantasy novels set on a flat world carried on the back of four elephants
that stand on the shell of a giant turtle swimming through space. If this
sounds silly, it is. But it's also great fun. You can read everything you
want to know about him in the Annotated Pratchett File at the above link. My
personal favorites are Mort and Reaper Man which are about
Death, the grim reaper, and how it affects the world if he goes on a holiday
or gets fired, and Wyrd Sisters, which is a marvelous parody on
Shakespeare. A good example of his humor is his Dwarven Poetry (1), which
unfortunately got lost in a page rebuild. As soon as I find the link I'll put
it back up.
(1) Gold, Gold, Gold (2), that is. Dwarves just love singing about
(2) Yes, that IS the only word in the song.
Wow, that's a lot of stuff about one author! Then again, he IS good. Click
for some more information.
- Quentin Tarantino doesn't really fit here, I know. I guess I'll be
adding a separate section for films some time soon. Anyway, here's the script
of his masterpiece,
- John Ronald Ruel Tolkien is one of the founding fathers of the
fantasy genre, with his Lord of the Rings trilogy and related works on
the world of Middle Earth. References to LotR and its prequel The Hobbit
are everywhere, and the books are just great. Strangely enough I haven't been
able to find any homepages dedicated to this master writer.
If you like Tolkien, you should also read the parody Bored of the Rings
if you can find it.
- Jack Vance has written loads of good books, most notably the
Lyonesse trilogy and the Planet of Adventure series. There's a lot of
Information here, including
a complete bibliography and book cover scans.
- Roger Zelazny, finally, is most noted for his ten-book-long Amber
series. I think the first five are really the best; I just couldn't stop
reading them. A list of Amber characters and a timeline will be up here
shortly. If you've read it, you'll probably love this parody,
Death of Ember. Some more info on Zelazny can be found on the
Fanpage. If you want something non-Amber-related, My Name Is Legion
is a good book, too, as is Jack of Shadows.
- Last but not least, I'd like to list myself here because of this
Story I'm writing. It's nothing professional yet, but
who knows what may follow?
Computers and all
Ultima Dragons Internet Chapter (UDIC)
is a group of people devoted to Origin's Ultima games, a series of rpgs known
for their excellent storylines, and, in the later ones, the graphics, too.
There's an Ultima-like game coming up called
and I'm working on the storyline and conversation scripts.
I like computer programming, although I'm not a professional (yet). Here's a
Games Domain [down] has some more info
on programming, and a lot of games available for download.
Programming is an art, when done in certain ways. If you don't believe
me, take a look at the
Obfuscated C contests.
And, if you want to pull a joke on someone, here are some
jokes with a
And, in case you still remember those good old Commodore 64's (which I do,
and I love them), you can download some games at
For more information be sure to check out the
Web Directory and the
For some more nostalgia, somebody has compiled a page of
This is one of the most widely appreciated sections, and there's lots of
stuff I'd like to put here - there's lots more to come.
Have you ever
spoken to a dragon? Here's your chance - go talk to
Maur and hope she doesn't eat
As for now, everybody should read these really funny
Words of Wisdom (also known as taglines, for the
mail freaks among you).
Is there anybody around here who hasn't heard of
Monty Python's Holy Grail? If so, click and read the script. Speaking of
Monty Python, there is a lot of scripts and files from their
that you may want to read. And let's not forget another really funny series -
Then, I have a nice ascii graphics file on
Cows in Various Situations, a parody on
Twelve Days of Christmas, an
MIT Application and a
Case of Murder. In case you haven't had enough yet, here's
Seuss Trek, a parody on Star Trek, and a poem of
Male vs. Female. And lastly, a large collection of
humourous text files can be found
Do you like music? Try these songtexts from
R.E.M. (the best!) and
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if you have any comments or additions, or want to sign the
guest book, you can reach me via e-mail:
Pieter 'Archmage' Simoons.
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and was last updated on Wednesday, June 4th.