I'm SO Gothic I Only Watch Half My Black and White TV!
Procrastination; the art of keeping up with yesterday
I started this page quite a while ago now, and I am kinda proud I still have it going.
Many things have changed in this period in time, I have moved out of home, changed schools,gone to University,
split up with a partner of mine for the 4 (or is it 5th) time, and found another partner who is so fantastic I want to burst! (makes you want to vomit eh?!?) Yet, all the same, life has not necessarily been cruel to me.
In fact, things in my life are actually quite good.
I have been going to uni for a year now, studying arts. The University is on the outskirts, or what I would call the rolling plains of industrial boredom, of Melbourne.
I am planning to major in history and politics, yet that will all happen in a couple of years time from now, so, in the meantime, I am enjoying doing my history and politics and spending all too long in the University bar vicinity.
I moved to the 'exclusive' area of Caufield North, into the Jewish heart of Melbourne in April in 1998. The house is white, and reminds some people in certain areas of an old jail house, due to its bare white washed walls. Anyways, it was a fairly clean break from the old stuff, to 'Tabula Rasa', it is for me, a clean slate, an opportunity not to re-write, but to start new things, to develop ideas and thoughts, and avenues previously not fully explored.
As for the love side of my life..
Well!... I have come to the conclusion that ultimately the pursuit of knowledge is my true love. I write this with images of ghosts of the past filling my mind, and all it does is bring me to the conclusion that I must stand on my own two feet, and at least for the mean time the progression of ideas relies purely on myself. I am still to figure out how to incorporate the self reliance and individuality into a union of people, without losing something (or having my heartbroken).. Still working on it..
Last time I went clubbing was around July I guess, which was the first time in many months on Sunday night, namely to what I presume is a relatively new club; Neaux Taboo, regardless of how it is spelt. It bored me shitless!.
I found the whole scene as stale as I had left it, you have the few people who dance, who really aren't *that* gothic, and those who stand around and watch all those who are dancing passing judgement, and being all too much the indication of how far the scene has gone down hill, reduced to mere bitchiness, that perhaps was underlying it all along.
Still, my weekends are filled with drunken debauchery, and often, my weeknights also, the hours I have adopted tend to last long into the night, filled with conversation, alcohol, and avoidance of the examination of what could be considered, the *real* issues.
So, the question still remains, 'what does it mean to be gothic'.
Well, what does it mean.. To be gothic in my mind is to appreciate certain things; the beauty of the dark as well as the light, to discuss and challenge things, and to admire the beauty of past styles perhaps. But, to be a scene goth is to wear 'images of the devil' to quote a track I like. To be a scene goth is to bag the hell out of other goths, to dull your mind with drugs, and to appreciate very few things.
More Info about me.. you need to watch out for me on dark nights that I don't bite you (sorry Kyle and Lestat) because sometimes I have an overwhelming need to bite
(check the likelihood by looking at the phase of the moon)
I do intend to scan a heap of pictures I have taken (both artistic and general portrait
shots) and add them to the
Art Gallery which I am going to create, with Gothic
images and pictures of my friends.
An Effect post-break-up survival guide
To every one on the planet, splitting up with a person you deeply cared about is a painful thing, and after having the same partner wander in and out of my life for the past two years, I have decided I had better give some other people some wonderful pointers on what I believe helps to lift your spirits a bit.
buy large amounts of Lindt chocolate
go to the hairdresser, for a semi-dramatic cut
definately arrange to have at least one massage per week
feed yourself with positive images and thoughts as much as possible -take a holiday!
Q How do you get a Goth out of a tree?
A Cut the rope
Q How do you get a Goth to smile?
A Point a gun in his face and tell him you're gonna shoot.
This is a fantastic film, directed by the fantastic Fritz Lang, definately worth seeing if you can find a cinema showing it. The Astor in Windsor (near St Kilda, Victoria, Australia) shows it from time to time. Also worth checking out by Fritz Lang is 'M', another quite groovy flick.
Links to other sites on the Web
How to be a Goth - a very funny site
Alodi's Page, Wicca/pagan
Wonderful Archive Of
occult and related sites, this is really worth a look!
INNER-VIEWS The Cyberzine For The Open Minded..(Featuring Articles, Interviews, Events Calendar, Poetry, Essays & Alternative Product Reviews)
Now look.. as I promised.. I was going to put up some stuff on Wicca for ppls... so here is the first in the series:)
Ce'Nedra's Wiccan Page
This Page is under total construction, if you want to take a look at latest stuff on my
As always, I can be contacted either by calling
Point Blank BBS
( (03) 98984892, from within Australia, or From America or the
like 613-8984892) in Victoria, Australia, and email can be left there for me if you cannot
reach me through the new email address provided.
Special thanx to:
me, myself and I.
Witchery, for the many happy hours of ripping ( including this idea)
Silverfish , for being the most fantastic person in the world (of course I am not biased;).
Pushka, for giving me the love no man could EVER give;)
Joshua for staying awake
God for disproving his own existence
myself, for being able to survive no matter what!
...anyone else who really cares enough to bug me for a mention.. GOOD LUCK!
This page was last updated on the 13/10/98 by Ce'nedra
This page has been frustrated enough times to completely reset my counter, so its gone to hell! (why was it showing over 1 million hits???!?) Here's a more realistic number for you to play with...
since roughly 1/5/96